2012 resolutions.

Well let's be honest. We seldom write and stick to our resolutions, that's just the way it is which is why I thought pretty long and hard about what i'd like mine to be, nothing crazy and nothing mama can't do. Oh yes and in case you were wondering, I AM well aware of the fact that I have not 1.Blogged in a while and 2. I have yet to write a Christmas blog(Coming SOON!).

 Anyways, I had a pretty angry 2011 if I am being honest. I spent a lot of time (too much time) just plain, flat out, pissed off. Always at things I couldn't change. In 2012 I am hoping to first of all stop getting angry about things I can't change. I need to accept that sometimes the bad guy wins, the liar sometimes get away with their lies, and most importantly that I can't change bad people. Sometimes people are just bad and that's the way it is. No matter how many benefits of the doubt you give, no matter how much you look the other way, no matter what.. Someone that isn't a good person will not change. I Brynna, need to stop getting angry about this. I plan to go to great lengths come January 1st to remove any and ALL bad apples from my life and this includes other people's stresses. At the end of the day sometimes I care to much and it needs to stop. I am not going to fight battles any longer for anyone other than myself, I feel like after this year I owe it to ME to let other people, weak people, stand on their own two feet.

 Aside from being angry about a bunch of random things in 2011 I have also come to realize that I would like to get into fighting shape this year and get my butt in the ring. I know that mentally I am ready for this. Some of you reading this may think I have lost my mind, but I really can't describe the way I feel when I have my gloves on. I love having the ability to defend myself and maybe it's a little ironic that this comes about after my paragraph on anger lol whatever the reason is I NEED THIS. Now when I say "fighting shape" I don't mean "Hey I want to be skinny!!" Because that's not what I mean. One thing 2011 has taught me is that being beautiful doesn't mean you are 110 pounds, it's more about how you feel inside about yourself and how healthy you are., and by the way ladies being 110 lbs doesn't make you pretty the sooner this reality sets in the easier your life will be. I personally have come to be comfortable with the fact that yes, I have a big butt and weighing in at 138 pounds I am a curvy 24 year old, adult. I don't need to be stick nor do I desire to be. What I *do* desire is to be stronger, and by this I mean I want to have the ability to hit you and knock you down. (A pretty damn important skill to have when stepping into a ring lol).

 My last and final resolution for 2012 is to stop cursing so much. I seriously have the filthiest little mouth on Earth and I don't even mean to! I would really love to clean that up a notch :)

 I am excited for 2012 and to see what it brings, thank God for another year on this earth, and I pray each of you have a blessed and happy new year! Leave 2011 in the past and let's welcome a fresh new year!!!!

The end.

As with most things that we count down to and look forward to, the months become days, the days become hours, and the hours become moments and then FINALLY you reach the moment you have been waiting for.. Today my moment is one my family has crossed days off the calendar for, prayed for, cried for, wished for, and hoped for, for 7 months. Daniel is coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember this day:

It was 3AM and cold outside. My heart was heavy and I didn't want to let go. Hoping and praying I'd see that face again, that my children would see his face again, I had to let go. They were calling for them to board the dreaded white busses and holding on wasn't an option I had anymore. Did I say all I needed to say? The what if's all swirling in my head, standing there holding hands with strangers who would soon become friends I watched the buses leave. Dazed and confused were the best ways to describe the first couple of weeks of this deployment. I hated nighttime the most though, closing the curtains, bringing in the trash cans, tucking the girls in, nights seemed to drag the worst in the beginning. This deployment was especially stressful and heart wrenching as my friends received calls about injured husbands, I'll never forget the drive over to one friend's house as I cried knowing her husband lost his leg, trying to get there as fast as I possibly could.. Not some stranger in the streets, not a name on the news, my friend. I'll also never forget welcoming that smiling face home, he's one of the strongest people I have ever met, thank God for men like him! Then came a funeral.. I've never seen a more beautiful service, I was humbled by the sacrifice made by two heroes. They paid the ultimate sacrifice and I am eternally grateful, what a lot of people don't understand is when a service member dies not only do they make a sacrifice but their families do also. My heart is heavy for them during this time and I thank not only Sgt. Gonzales and Sgt. Robinson for their enormous sacrifices but also their families. Of course during all this my mind was in a really dark place, at that point I had pretty much came to terms with the fact that Daniel probably wasn't going to come home because if these horrible things could happen so close, to people he works amongst surely, it could happen to him too. I know that's terrible to say but that's just where I was. Of course, I was lucky enough that I had great friends and my mom. Oh goodness we have all had some pretty damn good times lol ranging from Vegas to a sprinkler attack during a fire pit night, but for every worrisome thought we had a million laughs and I am so grateful for these moments. Here are a few:

Ha! I'm definitely grateful for all the wonderful people who helped me get through this, we passed our days with wine, coffee, laughter, and good old fashioned wishing and hoping! There's nothing like having good friends to call when you're having a good day or a bad day and no matter what they are there to listen and in most cases point and laugh. I couldn't have asked for a better support system had I of hand picked them myself. And today, we get to hold hands yet again and welcome our boys home!! A moment I wouldn't trade for the world, again thank you so much to everyone who has wished me prayers and kind words, they all mean so much and your prayers worked! We get our Daddy Bear back <3

Humbled.

Today a few of us girls went to visit one of the injured sniper platoon boys who was just sent back from Afghanistan due to an infection. He is doing wonderful by the way! Kayla and I worked hard for 6 hours making a random selection of home made candies and goodies, everything turned out great and we decided to take the extras to some of the other 1/5 boys that were unfortunately on the floor as well. I knew going in that I would see some things in person that I had only seen in movies and read about online, I felt prepared I mean these boys are HEROES rather they want to be or not. As we pulled up to the hospital I did feel a little overwhelmed because I didn't know what to expect, gratefully Daniel's buddy from the platoon was in great spirits and he will make a perfect recovery :) After our visit with him we dropped some bags off for the rest of the 1/5 boys on the floor, they were in isolation so we were unable to go visit them unless we personally knew them, we were able to visit a couple of boys from the floor below one of which knew who Daniel was, small world right? Gosh he was a young boy but keeping with the trend he was in great spirits! We also had the honor of meeting a double amputee, it was a little overwhelming because he was my age, 24. I can not imagine losing my legs and chalking it up to a day's work, I am in awe of his courage. Twenty four years old, it has been rolling around in my head all day. We also got to meet his adorable little boys and wife who we hugged. She was holding it together so well, I was so proud to hug her. I bet that girl had strength for weeks.

It was just so honestly overwhelming to be among people, young people, who were/are willing to not only be injured for this country but to die for it had their days gone just a little bit differently in a bad way. They are all so lucky to be alive and never once did I hear a single complaint. I saw a double amputee smiling at his children, a man just 11 days ago who was on the same battle field where my own husband walks. God bless him, I wish I could scream that outside right now.

It all hit home for me because just as quick as it is one of those great men it could be my husband. God forbid. I have always had a respect for the ones brave enough to hug their families good bye to head to combat but today I am just bursting at the seams. I am so proud to have had the honor to meet and be in the presence of the true definition of what a hero is.

If you know me you know that I am one who believes EVERYthing happens for a reason, everything. Today Kayla and I found ourselves directly in front of the Armed Forces YMCA at Balboa due to an unusually random circumstance lol, and I have decided to volunteer once or twice a week starting next month, even if it means I am just hand delivering XBOX games to those injured in combat, I don't care. Thanks just honestly doesn't seem like enough. Please continue to keep 1/5 in your prayers, we are very close but yet still very far.

Brynna

A sweet little graduation :)

Wow, my little princess graduated from her first year of preschool! Time just absolutely flies. It doesn't feel like more than 4 years ago she was just a little pink bundle of joy snuggled up in her pack and play. Sometimes I wish there was a freeze button for life, I feel like it just passes by so fast. I am so proud of my little Sassy britches for all that she has accomplished this year, from starting to read, write, color in lines, draw detailed pictures, to the interaction with her classmates (and SO much more!). It's so cute to me that she made little friends on her own and that she is this happy, independent little person. I love the person that she is and I am so lucky to be able to watch her grow, she makes me a very proud mama!

Congratulations baby girl!

Today preschool, tomorrow college!

Happy Father's Day, Daniel!

Daniel,
Thank you for always being such a wonderful father to our sweet baby girls. I hope and pray that through out their lives they will appreciate all the sacrifices you make for them and all that you do for them. I wish you could see how adorable it is when you wake up early on a Saturday morning and make the girls a breakfast fit for queens while watching cartoons or when you dress the girls and take the neatness of their hair very seriously. I love how no matter how exhausted you are when you walk through the front door, a big hug is always in order and possibly a little rolling around in the floor getting beat up. Thank you for always being grateful to be their dad, for always putting them first and for never feeling shameful about having tea parties and singing along with the girls. Thank you for never playing video games even though I know that deep down inside you probably would love too. Thank you for always taking the girls to see the new princess movies, liking them, and making it a big deal for them to have a "daddy date".

To them right now all that you do is just life, every day daddy's love, but you go above and beyond the call of duty and I am so thankful for that. Thank you for making sure hell would freeze over before our children ever went with out anything and for never being too far away to blow a kiss.

I pray that no matter how big they get and how much we embarrass them when they are teenagers that they never forget your little bed room "camping" adventures, the sleigh bells from Santa, the ice cream cones in Ikea (ALWAYS!), The beach days and sand castles, or your big ass going down the slide at the playground.

Thank you so much for all that you do for us and most of all thank you for being the universe's greatest daddy, I have yet to meet a better one. Just know that the things you do don't go unnoticed, even if sometimes you wish they would haha (*cough falling up the stairs *cough*) <3

Now enjoy a couple of my favorite Daddy photos :)
















Okay, that was .03495 of my favorite pictures but really this could go on for days!




Love,
Brynna

Day 23

One day I WILL finish this lol.

Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding

A song that WAS played at my wedding,



Random? Yes. It was our first dance :) It was also my parent's first dance song, so that's why ;)

Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
And maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have

If I made you feel second best
Girl, I'm sorry I was blind
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me
Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me
Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied
I'll keep you satisfied

Day 22

Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad.

I just love the man in black, I don't have to be sad to listen to him ;)



My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."

He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Sue.'"

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!