The end.

As with most things that we count down to and look forward to, the months become days, the days become hours, and the hours become moments and then FINALLY you reach the moment you have been waiting for.. Today my moment is one my family has crossed days off the calendar for, prayed for, cried for, wished for, and hoped for, for 7 months. Daniel is coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember this day:

It was 3AM and cold outside. My heart was heavy and I didn't want to let go. Hoping and praying I'd see that face again, that my children would see his face again, I had to let go. They were calling for them to board the dreaded white busses and holding on wasn't an option I had anymore. Did I say all I needed to say? The what if's all swirling in my head, standing there holding hands with strangers who would soon become friends I watched the buses leave. Dazed and confused were the best ways to describe the first couple of weeks of this deployment. I hated nighttime the most though, closing the curtains, bringing in the trash cans, tucking the girls in, nights seemed to drag the worst in the beginning. This deployment was especially stressful and heart wrenching as my friends received calls about injured husbands, I'll never forget the drive over to one friend's house as I cried knowing her husband lost his leg, trying to get there as fast as I possibly could.. Not some stranger in the streets, not a name on the news, my friend. I'll also never forget welcoming that smiling face home, he's one of the strongest people I have ever met, thank God for men like him! Then came a funeral.. I've never seen a more beautiful service, I was humbled by the sacrifice made by two heroes. They paid the ultimate sacrifice and I am eternally grateful, what a lot of people don't understand is when a service member dies not only do they make a sacrifice but their families do also. My heart is heavy for them during this time and I thank not only Sgt. Gonzales and Sgt. Robinson for their enormous sacrifices but also their families. Of course during all this my mind was in a really dark place, at that point I had pretty much came to terms with the fact that Daniel probably wasn't going to come home because if these horrible things could happen so close, to people he works amongst surely, it could happen to him too. I know that's terrible to say but that's just where I was. Of course, I was lucky enough that I had great friends and my mom. Oh goodness we have all had some pretty damn good times lol ranging from Vegas to a sprinkler attack during a fire pit night, but for every worrisome thought we had a million laughs and I am so grateful for these moments. Here are a few:

Ha! I'm definitely grateful for all the wonderful people who helped me get through this, we passed our days with wine, coffee, laughter, and good old fashioned wishing and hoping! There's nothing like having good friends to call when you're having a good day or a bad day and no matter what they are there to listen and in most cases point and laugh. I couldn't have asked for a better support system had I of hand picked them myself. And today, we get to hold hands yet again and welcome our boys home!! A moment I wouldn't trade for the world, again thank you so much to everyone who has wished me prayers and kind words, they all mean so much and your prayers worked! We get our Daddy Bear back <3